You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
