I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
