There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
