Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
