physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
