I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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