8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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