are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
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I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
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My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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