I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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