Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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