There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
