Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i barfeds in our rink
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize