I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
