We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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