She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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