i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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