it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
