ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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