You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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