By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
