therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize