Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
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I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
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I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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