i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
