He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We had sex on a dog bed..
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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