stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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