Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
