"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
