I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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