her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
And then my night got REAL pukey
so much tequila, so little girl.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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