pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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