I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
