This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
