If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
