i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
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My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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