What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I had to cum in my sink.
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