yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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