Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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