I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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