its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
