I wish I could punch you in the face.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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