we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
