Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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