He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
