just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
