I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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