Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
