Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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