You don't have asthma, your pregnant
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
do nipples grow back?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
