Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
