ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize