Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
