And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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