What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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