What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
