youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
