people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
