I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My feet surprised me
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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