Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
