i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
