ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
