woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
3pm strippers are depressing
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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