Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
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i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
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Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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