omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
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