Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
