No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize