Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
